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听美剧学英语-摩登家庭第二季 第5集:远离电子产品比赛

所属教程:摩登家庭

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qinting

2018年07月30日

随身学
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http://online2.tingclass.net/lesson/shi0529/0009/9841/ModernS02E05.mp3
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Mom. The dog again.

妈 那狗又在吠

I know baby. I want to strangle that crazy old thing.

听到了 宝贝 我想掐死那条疯老狗

Just ignore it.

别理它就是了

It's easy for you to ignore

对你来说确实容易

because you have the old-man hearing.

因为你已经老耳闭塞

But Manny and I -- we have the young ears.

但是我跟曼尼有着朝气蓬勃的双耳

I don't get how one dog keeps you awake

我就不明白你怎么会受不了一条咆哮狗

when you grew up sleeping through

你老家满街都是斗鸡和武装革命

cockfights and revolutions.

应该早习惯了吧

Mm-hmm. Very funny, Jay.

很好笑 杰

Manny hasn't been able to sleep in weeks.

曼尼已经好几个礼拜都没睡好觉了

It's screwing his brain for school.

他都没精神上课

And it doesn't stop.

那狗吠个不停

It goes on and on and on and on and on and on

一直不停地叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊叫啊

- and on and on and on. - Yes, that could be annoying.

叫啊叫啊-行了 这声挺烦的

That's it. I'm going over there.

我受够了 我去找他们

Gloria, now, don't go starting something

歌洛莉亚 别惹事

because whenever you do, I'm the one that --

因为不管你干什么 最后还不是我善后

That she couldn't hear.

这声她倒是可以不理会

They're gone. Cam.

他们都不见了 小卡

All the children are gone.

所有的小孩都不见了

What children?

什么孩子们

I was running in the park,

我在公园跑步

and I noticed that none of the kids

然后我发现

Lily usually plays with were there.

跟莉莉一起玩的小孩都不见了

- Well, it's still early. - But then I ran into Lori.

现在还早着呢-但是我遇到了罗莉

Boobs Lori or adult-braces Lori?

大胸罗莉还是牙套罗莉

Great-shoes Lori.-Oh,I like her.

美鞋罗莉-我喜欢她

And she said that they all sent their kids to preschool.

她说他们都把孩子送去上幼儿园了

What?! We agreed to wait till next year.

什么 我们说好了明年再上的

It was a fake-out to make sure that their kids got a spot.

那是忽悠我们 好给自家孩子争取名额

Those skinny bitches.

那些瘦婊子

We have got to get her into school, Cameron,

我们必须去报名 卡梅隆

or else she's gonna fall behind.

不然她就落后了

Don't you think I know that?

你以为我不知道吗

This is perfect.

真够绝的

Oh, leave it to the gays

让那对基佬

to raise the only underachieving Asian in America.

养出美利坚唯一一个成绩烂的亚洲小孩吧

[亚洲学生在美国一般成绩都比较优秀]

Okay, here you go.

好了 这个给你

Guys, breakfast.

伙计们 吃早餐了

Guys. Phil. Hello.

伙计们 菲尔 理我一下

Totally with you.

我在我在

Kids, put your dishes in the dishwasher.

孩子们 盘子放到洗碗机里去

Okay, no. That's it.

好了 我受够了

Everybody, gadgets down now!

每个人都给老娘把手里的玩意儿放下

Why are you freaking out?

你干嘛发飙

Because you're all so involved with your little gizmos,

因为这些玩意把你们魂都勾跑了

nobody is even talking.

都没人讲话了

Families are supposed to talk.

家人彼此间应该交流

What are you doing that's so important?

你在处理什么了不得的事吗

Oh, I'm locking in my fantasy roster.

我在捣鼓俺的梦幻烤炉

I'm unbeatable.

我战无不胜

We're totally getting an aboveground pool.

我们正要建一个地上泳池

Die, stupid, die!

去死吧 蠢货 去死吧

Luke, I told you to put that down now.

卢克 我叫你把那东西放下

Come on, buddy.

快点 小子

One second. I'm about to beat dad's record.

等一下 我就要破老爸的记录了

You heard your mother.

听妈妈的话

What is so funny?

有什么这么好笑

Nothing.

没什么

Mom's insane. Thank you, Haley.

老妈疯了 谢谢 海莉

At least we talk.

至少我们在交流

Hello.

Hey, it's me. What's a good preschool?

是我 哪所幼儿园比较好

Uh, well, our kids went to Wagon Wheel.

我家小孩去的是沃根威尔

And it was good? You liked it?

那所好吗 你喜欢吗

Oh, well, you know my kids

你知道我的小孩

are middle-management material at best.

反正也都不是什么太好的胚子

Didn't want to waste a lot of money --

也不想在他们身上浪费太多钱

Yes, Mitchell, it's good.

米奇尔 那所不赖

Why the interest?

干吗突然问这个

I just realized that all of Lily's friends

我突然发现莉莉的玩伴们

are going to school this year, and now she's late.

今年都上幼儿园了 她现在落后了

Don't worry. She can wait another year.

别担心 她可以明年再上

Just buy her a Blackberry,

给她买部黑莓手机就是了

that's all she's gonna want to do anyway.

反正现在的小孩就爱它

What did she say?

她说什么

She says to buy her a Blackberry.

她说给莉莉买部黑莓手机

Lily doesn't have the dexterity for that, Claire!

莉莉的小手还没法玩手机呢 克莱尔

What is happening?

她疯了吧

Can you just check with your school

你能不能问一下你那间学校

and see if maybe you can get us in?

看看能不能接收我们

Hmm. I-I can probably get you an interview.

我也许可以帮你安排一次会面

Oh, no. That's great. That's great.

太棒了 太好了

Thank you. I really appreciate it.

谢谢 真的太感谢了

Oh, and, by the way, what do you think

还有 顺便问一下 你觉得

of that place Billingsley Academy?

比林斯利学院怎么样

Ooh. Billingsley. Very hoity-toity.

比林斯利 拽得很呢

You can't get in there unless you're really rich

一般人根本进不去 除非你富得流油

or you know somebody on the board.

或者在校董会有人

Oh, god, this is a nightmare.

天啊 这简直是个噩梦

Mitch, it's preschool. Don't overthink it.

米奇 幼儿园罢了 别小题大做

My kids didn't go to Billingsley,

我家小孩也没上比林斯利

and they are fine.

他们不也好好的吗

I have to go.

我得挂了

Phil.

菲尔

That's awesome.

有创意

- Buenos dias. - Hi.

早上好-你好

We haven't formally met.

我们还没正式见过面

I'm Gloria Pritchett from next door.

我是住在隔壁的歌洛莉亚·普里契特

Larry Paulson. Yeah, I've seen you. Mm.

我叫拉瑞·保森 见过面了

Lucky guy.

艳福不浅啊

Wait a minute, then tell me.

是福是祸你很快就知道了

Your dog doesn't stop barking.

你的狗吠个不停

All morning, all night.

整日整夜乱吠

He wakes my son up,

他吵醒了我儿子

and he needs his sleep.

他需要充足的睡眠

It's not my dog. It's my soon-to-be ex-wife's.

不是我的狗 是我即将散伙的妻子的

She moved out three weeks ago.

她三个星期前搬出去了

Is she coming back for it?

她会回来取吗

Not unless it starts crapping money.

除非狗屎变美钞

Well, you need to do something about the dog.

那你必须想办法治治它

The dog is old and stupid.

那狗又老又笨

Who are you really mad at, Larry?

你到底是在生谁的气 拉瑞

The dog or your wife?

那条狗还是你妻子

Who the hell is this kid?

这小孩怎么回事

Hey, there's no need for that.

别扯上小孩

I'll tell you who he is.

我告诉你他是怎么回事

His name is "shut up your damn dog"!

他的名字就叫做 让你那该死的狗闭嘴

You know what's ironic?

真是讽刺至极啊

And I have never once said a word

我从来都没有抱怨过

About that obnoxious parrot of yours

你们家那只聒噪的鹦鹉

That's always squawking.

叫声简直非人类

Parrot?

鹦鹉

What parrot?

什么鹦鹉

Jay!

Jay!

Jay!

What is he talking about? What parrot?

他那是什么意思 哪儿来的鹦鹉

How the hell do I know?

我怎么知道

So, what do we do now?

那我们现在应该怎么做

Nothing. We did it. He heard us.

我们已经和他说了 还能做什么

He didn't hear nothing.

但他什么都没听进去

Jay, don't go. Jay!

杰 别走 杰

Jay! Jay!

杰 杰

Okay, we have called this family meeting

好了 我们召开这次家庭会议的原因是

Because the personal electronics have gotten out of control.

个人电子产品已经影响了正常生活

Starting today, there's going to be a one-week ban

从今天起 将进行为期一周的电子设备禁用周

-On all cellphones, texting, -oh!

-禁止用手机 发信息 -噢不

Im'ing, video chatting, video-gaming,

禁止上论坛 视屏聊天 玩游戏

-Anything on the internet. -How am I supposed to do my homework?

禁止任何网络行为-那我该怎么做作业

The way I did.

跟我学学

With a chisel and a piece of stone.

拿一个凿子和一块石头

-Phil. -Can't unplug my funny bone.

菲尔-别想阻止我发自内心的幽默感

I have a huge science paper due.

我马上就要完成一份科学论文

And we have a great set of encyclopedias...Somewhere.

别担心 也许家里还有本祖传的百科全书

What do you think the public library is for?

不然你认为公共图书馆是用来干吗

I thought that was a bathroom for homeless people.

我以为那里是流浪汉的免费公厕

Can I still play plants vs. Zombies?

我还能继续玩植物大战僵尸吗

Are you not listening?

你是不是聋了

-But you learn about plants. -Mm-hmm.

但是你了解植物-怎么

And plants are life.

植物是有生命的

Are you against life?

难道你反对生命吗

How am I supposed to talk to my friends?

那我该怎么和我的朋友聊天

Talk to them at school.

在学校聊个痛快

Or at a juice bar.

或者在果汁店

Or on the house phone.

或者用座机打

Nobody even knows our number.

没人知道我们家的号码

I don't even know our number.

连我自己都不知道

So, you're saying dad's not going to go online?

这么说老爸也不会再去上网咯

Yep.-Dad?

当然-老爸

-That's right. -What about fantasy football?

是的-那疯狂足球怎么办

Not a problem. My team's set this week.

不用担心 球队那边已经都安排好了

I am completely on board

我至死不渝地

your mother's horse and buggy to yesteryear.

支持你老妈的突发奇想

For the next week, I may as well be Amish.

[Amish提倡远离电器过简朴的生活]

接下来的一周 我要回归原始社会

Jebediah Dunphy.

原始人邓菲

Raising barns, witnessing murders,

穴居狩猎 茹毛饮血

Making electric fireplace hearths.

钻木取火

Oh! This is so unfair!

这简直太不公平了

You know what?

你猜怎么着

We're gonna make this fun.

我们可以搞得有趣些

Turn it into a game.

把它当作一次比赛

Whoever stays unplugged the longest, wins.

坚持到最后的那个人就是胜利者

Not what I had in mind, Phil.

菲尔 这不是我的初衷

-What do we win? -What do you want?

我们能赢得什么-你们想要什么

I want a new computer.

我想要一台新电脑

Done

We're gonna get them off of electronics

我们禁止他们用电子产品

with the promise of more electronics?

结果却要给他们添置更多电子设备吗

-I want chicken pot pie. -And chicken.

我想要鸡肉馅饼-整只鸡都行

I want a car.

我想要一辆车

-No way! -Done!

没门-成

Yeah, I'm getting a car!

我能有自己的车了

-Yeah, fun, right? -Phil!

-没错 很有趣 对吧 -菲尔

We cannot afford a third car.

我们养不起第三辆车

Relax. They're never gonna last as long as us.

别担心 他们不可能赢我们

Oh, honey, don't take this the wrong way,

亲爱的 别误会

but I have almost no faith in you.

但我确实对你没有任何信心

Joanie will be right out.

乔安妮马上就会出来

She's just finishing up another interview.

她马上就会结束那个接见

Okay. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

好的 谢谢 谢谢 谢谢

- You're welcome. - I really like this place.

不客气-我真心喜欢这个地方

- Look at all these drawings. - I know.

看看这些画-我看到了

And did you see the duckies in the yard?

你看到院子里的鸭鸭了吗

- Lily loves duckies. - I know.

莉莉最喜欢鸭鸭了-我知道

I'm gonna mention that.

我等会要提到这些

Okay, well, do,

行啊 说啊

because that's really gonna set her apart from the rest of the kids.

搞的好像说这个就能让她显得与众不同似的

We should also mention

我们还要提到

how she always perks up when we watch "Charlie Rose."

当我们看克莱尔· 罗斯的 脱口秀时 她总是很兴奋

[艾摩是儿童剧芝麻街中的角色]

That was one time. He was interviewing Elmo.

就一次而已 因为当时他在采访艾摩

You boys ought to relax.

你们放轻松点

Oh, I'm sorry.

对不起

- We just -- we really want to make a good impression. - Mm.

我们只是想留下一个好印象-对的

Gay adoptive parents with a minority baby?

基佬养父母加上一个外籍宝宝

Sugars, you can get into any school you want.

学校随你们挑

What was that? Really?

什么 真的吗

Oh, you didn't know that?

你们不知道吗

oh, yeah.

当然

All of these schools like to brag about their diversity.

所有的学校都爱吹嘘自己没有任何歧视

You're diverse times three.

你们简直是神奇三侠啊

In demand.

绝对供不应求

You're like Jimmy Buffett tickets

你们简直就像热卖的音乐会门票

[吉米·巴菲特是美国著名音乐人]

to these hybrid-driving, straight white folks.

那些非同白人完全不是你们的对手

I hear that, girl.

多谢夸奖 小妞

Yeah.

好吧

I'm coming!

我来啦 别急

Where the hell is the dog?

我家的狗在哪

-Who is it? -It's our neighbor.

是谁在敲门-我们的邻居

The dog is gone.

我家的狗不见了

Maybe it ran away.

也许它自个跑走了

It was chained to a tree.

有链子锁着呢 怎么跑

Maybe your wife took it.

也许你老婆带走了

According to my credit card, my wife is in europe,

根据我的信用卡账单 我老婆人在欧洲

searching for the world's most expensive hotel.

正在搜寻最豪华的酒店

Then what do you want from us?

那关我们什么事

You come over complaining about the dog

你来我家抱怨狗吵

And the next day it's gone?

然后第二天我家的狗就不见了

You tell me.

你说我来干什么

-I'll tell -- -how dare you?

我会...-居然敢来这里撒野

You come to our house, you ring our bell many times,

你到我们家来 把我们家的门铃都要按爆了

And you accuse us of taking your dog.

还指责我们绑了你的狗

You should go home.

慢走不送

-We're not done here. -Yes, we are.

这事还没完呢-不 已经说的很清楚了

What did you do?

你到底做了什么

You don't want to know.

你肯定不想知道的

Gloria's grandfather and uncles were butchers,

歌洛莉亚的祖父和叔叔们都是屠夫

so she's always had a certain comfort level

所以一说到杀戮

when it comes to...Killing.

她总是习以为常

One time, we had this rat...

有一次 我们家闹耗子

What? First you smash it,

首先拍烂它

then you cut the head off.

然后砍断鼠头

It was like nothing to her.

她就像孙二娘转世

I go to church now.

我要去教堂了

She left the head out there

她把鼠头留在那儿

To send a message to the other rats.

杀一儆百

Hey.-Hi,honey.

嗨-嗨 亲爱的

How was your day at work?

今天工作顺利不

Amazing. Mwah.

棒极了

Great. What happened?

哇 说说看

Instead of wasting my lunch hour surfing the web,

没有像平常那样 把午休时间浪费在上网啊

checking football stats,

查足球动态啊之类的

I put on some mellow music,

今天我在舒缓的音乐伴奏下

and I meditated.

冥思静想

Wow. For how long?

哇 坚持了多久

I have no idea. I just woke up 2 minutes ago.

我也不知多久 反正我二十分钟前刚醒

Hey, mom.

I need a bar of soap and a black marker for an art project.

我们美术课作业要用一块肥皂和一根黑色马克笔

Okay. Well, the marker's over there,

好的 马克笔在那儿

and the soap is under the sink.

肥皂在水池下面

Isn't it great how much time you have

你看只要你不沉迷于网络

now that you're not wasting it online?

就能省出大把时间啊

Oh, my god. Is this what you always sound like?

老天 你一直都这么说话吗

Look what I built, dad. Dunphy towers.

老爸 看看我建了什么 邓菲之塔

2 condos, a happy family in every one.

二百间公寓 每间都住了一个幸福的家庭

Way to go, buddy.

不错啊 小伙

I got to hand it to you, honey.

亲爱的 我真佩服你

24 hours without video games,

24小时没玩游戏

he's already contributing to society.

他都开始造福社会了

Die! Die!

去死吧 去死吧

To be fair, he's using his imagination.

老师说 他已经分不清梦境和现实了

There's no fire escapes!

没有安全出口

They cut corners!

他们抄近路了

I'll cut your corners!

我来灭了你们

Hello?

Oh, hi. Luke, honey, it's for you.

哦 嗨 卢克小宝贝 找你的

Hi, Griffin. How are you?

嗨 格里芬 你好吗

Yeah, he's right here. Hold on.

嗯 他在这儿 稍等

Hey, Griffin.

喂 格里芬

- Oh, my God! - What happened?

-哦 天哪 -怎么了

There's a parasailing-donkey video on Youtube.

Youtube上有个驴在水上滑翔的视频

Oh, my god!

哦 天哪

Wait, Luke. What about the contest?

等等 卢克 比赛怎么办

I quit.

我退出

I'm not made of stone, you know.

我可不是石头人

Uhh! I can't believe it.

恶 难以置信

I got a "B" on my paper.

我论文居然拿了个"B"

- Good for you. - Yeah.

恭喜-不错哦

No, it would be good for you.

不 对你们来说可能不错

It's terrible for me.

对我简直糟糕透顶

Thanks to your moldy encyclopedias,

多谢你那发了霉的百科全书

my take on mitosis was completely out of date.

我对有丝分裂的描述完全过时了

They don't even call it protoplasm anymore.

甚至都没人用原生质这种说法了

It's cytoplasm.

现在都叫细胞质

Well, you could have asked one of us.

你可以问我们的呀

Now you're making jokes?

你在搞笑吗

- I'm not making a joke. - Really?

我没在搞笑-真的吗

What's the difference between a gamete and a zygote?

生殖细胞和受精卵的区别是什么

Don't fall for it, Claire.

别上当 克莱尔

She's just making up words.

她瞎编了俩单词

That's it.

够了

I need the internet.

我需要因特网

I'm out of your stupid contest.

我退出你们的烂比赛

And then there were three.

三强争霸

She's kind of scary.

她杀气十足

We're not buying her a car.

我们才不会给她买车

Hey, buddy, what you reading?

小伙儿 看啥呢

The old man and the sea.

《老人与海》

You like it?

喜欢吗

I like that Hemingway gets to the point.

我喜欢海明威的开门见山

You read a lot of his stuff?

你读过他另外的作品啊

That was a hint, Jay.

我是在暗示你有话就说 杰

Oh, okay.

哦 明白

I want to ask you something...

我想问你点事

between you and me.

天知地知 你知我知

You want to know if I think my mom

你想知道我妈有没有

did something to that dog.

对那狗下毒手

Yeah.-Sit.

对-坐

Don't most kids drink soda?

小孩一般都喝汽水的吧

Who knows what they do?

谁管他们喝什么

So, your mom.

回归正题

Jay, I've learned a few things in my 12 years.

杰 这十二年来我学会了几件事

Don't skimp on linens,

亚麻衣服别买地摊货

don't compliment a teacher on her figure,

千万不要赞美老师的身材

and when it comes to my mom,

至于我妈

never ask questions I don't want the answers to.

有些问题你还是别问了 我也不想知道答案

I don't buy it. Sensitive kid like you.

我才不信 你这么敏感的小孩儿

I think you want to know every bit as much as I do.

肯定跟我一样 有打破沙锅探到底的精神

You're wrong.

你错了

Then why is your hand shaking?

那你手怎么发抖了

This is my fifth one of these today.

这是我今天第五杯咖啡

I may have a problem.

我可能咖啡喝太多了

Okay. That's enough.

好吧 别喝了

No, no, no, 4: tomorrow is fine.

不不不 明天下午四点非常好

Yeah, my life partner and I will see you then.

好的 那么我和我的伴侣与您到时见

Thank -- thank you.

谢谢您

Since when do you call me your life partner?

什么时候起你开始管我叫伴侣了

Since a spot opened up at Billingsley Academy.

从我们拿到了比林斯利学园的面试名额起

But I liked Wagon Wheel. It had all the duckies.

但我喜欢沃根威尔 那里有好多小鸭鸭

And it reminded me of where I went in Missouri.

这让我回忆起我在密苏里童年时光

Cam, everyone goes to Billingsley for a reason --

小卡 比林斯利可不是浪得虚名

It's the Harvard of preschools.

它就相当于学前班中的哈佛

She's not even 2 years old yet.

她还不到两岁呢

She doesn't need the Harvard of Preschools.

她不需要什么哈佛学前班

She needs finger painting and duckies.

她需要的是手指画和小鸭鸭

I'm begging you to please just say "Ducks."

我求你了 你就不能说"鸭子"吗

Hello?

Great news. Wagon Wheel loved you.

好消息 沃根威尔很欣赏你们

- You're in. - Oh.

你们进了-哦

Wagon Wheel wants us.

沃根威尔要咱们

Oh, yes!

哦 太棒了

Okay. Well, that's great and everything,

这真是个好消息

but actually we have an appointment tomorrow

不过我们明天还要去赶另一个入学面试

- At Billingsley. - Really?

比林斯利小学-真的吗

Yeah, apparently we are in very high demand.

没错 显然我们很抢手

Oh, well, just so you know, I don't think Wagon Wheel

只是要你知道 我觉得沃根威尔

is gonna hold a place for you.

不会给你们当备胎

Well, I think we're gonna take our chance.

我觉得我们这回得碰碰运气

Take our chance? That sounds chancy.

碰运气 听起来真不靠谱

You know, Mitchell,

米奇尔

you were the one who called me in a panic.

是你惊慌失措地给我打电话

You were the one who needed me to get you in.

是你叫我帮忙报上名

I'm sorry, Claire.

我很抱歉 克莱尔

I didn't mean to put you out.

我不是有意麻烦你的

But let's not get too dramatic here.

但你也别说得这么夸张

You wrote an e-mail.

不过就是写了封邮件而已

It wasn't an e-mail.

这不是封邮件

It was a phone call from a land line.

是一通有线电话

What did you do?

你做了什么

- What's best for Lily. - Did you?

是为莉莉好-是吗

Cam, this is the first time that being gay

小卡 这是我们作为基佬头一回

is a competitive advantage.

享受到竞争优势

They're choosing teams for gym class,

他们体操班正在招人

and we're finally getting picked first.

我们终于能首批入选

I always got picked first.

我一直都是最先被选上

I could throw a dodgeball through a piece of plywood.

因为我能用躲避球砸穿一层夹板

But I see your point.

不过我懂你意思

Don't sneak up on me like that.

别像鬼一样靠近我

What are you doing out here?

你出来这儿干什么

You got in my head about my mom.

你来问我妈的事搞得我头都大了

Is that the rat shovel?

这就是杀鼠之铲吗

Yeah.

没错

Are you checking it for signs of dog?

你在找狗狗的线索吗

I was going to.

我正准备检查

Well, let's do this quick.

我们速战速决

If she catches us,

要是被她抓住的话

we're as dead as that dog probably is.

我们就跟这狗一样死定了

- What are you doing here? - Nothing.

你们在这儿干嘛呢-什么也没干

Why are you looking at that shovel?

你们干嘛看这个铲子

Do you think someone

你觉得有人

did something with that shovel, Manny?

用这铲子干了什么事吗 曼尼

He thinks you killed the dog.

他认为是你杀了那只狗

You little rat.

你这鼠辈

Don't call me a rat!

别叫我老鼠

She kills rats!

她是灭鼠天后

You really think that I would kill a dog?

你真的认为是我杀了那只狗吗

Well, what was I supposed to think?

那我该怎么想

I don't know.

我不知道

How about I didn't kill a dog?

我没杀那只狗怎么样

Just tell me what you did with it.

那就告诉我你把它怎么了

He's in a better place.

他去了一个更好的地方

That's what people say when something's dead.

人们说什么东西死了的时候都这么说

Okay, fine.

好吧

I took him to a farm

我把它带去了一个农场

where he has plenty of room to run.

那里地方很大任由它玩耍

That's the second thing people say when something's dead.

人们说什么东西死了的第二种表述方式

My hairdresser's brother has three kids.

我专属美发师的兄弟有三个孩子

They live in the country.

他们住在乡下

They were so happy to have the dog

他们很高兴拥有这只狗

that they gave me a jar of pickles.

还送给我们一瓶咸菜

Is that also what they say when something is dead?

这也是人们说什么东西死了的一种方式吗

Really?

真的吗

Look. Look how happy they are,

看 看看他们多么开心

instead of him being tied to a tree outside

而不是在这儿孤零零地

with no one to talk to.

被绑在外面的树上

Why didn't you just tell me this in the first place?

你怎么不一开始告诉我这些

Like you would be okay with me stealing a dog?

就好像你不在意我偷一只狗似的

No.-Exactly.

当然不行-就是这样

That's why I didn't tell you.

这就是我不告诉你的原因

Now the dog is happy, Manny can sleep,

现在狗狗开心 曼尼能安心睡觉

and we have pickles.

而我们还有咸菜吃

Okay, it worked out this time,

好的 这次的事就这么算了

but don't forget that stealing is against the law.

不过别忘了偷窃是违法的

- Now, maybe in Colombia. - Ah, here we go,

也许在哥伦比亚-又来了

because in Colombia we trip over goats

因为在哥伦比亚我们会被羊绊倒

and we kill people in the street.

我们当街杀人

Do you know how offensive that is?

你知道这有多伤人吗

Like we are Peruvians!

就好像我们是秘鲁人似的

The contest was hard.

这比赛太难熬了

Reservations.

预定

Even though we had sworn off the internet,

虽然我们发誓断绝网络

the rest of the world hadn't.

但是外面的人没有

Orlando.

奥兰多

Domestic.

国内的

Representative.

代理人

Representative!

代理人

Representative! Representative!

代理人 代理人

You've got mail.

你有一封邮件

- Really, Claire? - You don't understand.

-真的假的 克莱尔 -你不明白

I was trying to deal with our plane tickets

我正试着买机票

to visit your family.

去拜访你的家人

Please stop. You're just embarrassing yourself.

别说了 你这是自找难堪

Well, it looks like it's just you and me, old man.

巅峰对决 老头

Bring it.

放马过来吧

And finally, here we are back at the office.

终于 我们逛回办公室了

If you two would like to take a seat,

你们如果愿意坐一会的话

I will let Mr. Plympton know that you're here.

我这就去通知普林普顿先生说你们到了

- Thank you. - Yes, thank you.

谢谢你-好的 谢谢你

This place is amazing!

这地方太赞了

I told you.

我早就告诉你了

[哈利波特小说中的魔法学校]

It's like Hogwarts!

就像霍格沃茨一样

The ladybug sanctuary.

瓢虫避难所

Oh, my gosh. The little cobblestones.

我的天啊 还有那些小鹅卵石

So sweet. I know.

太可爱了 我知道

Screw the duckies. We belong here.

去他的鸭鸭吧 我们属于这里

Do you think they're gonna let us in?

你觉得他们会收我们吗

Cam, relax.

小卡 放松一下

We're queer, we're here.

基佬就是好 学校任我挑

Yes, we are.

没错 对极了

Okay. Just a few more minutes.

好了 再等几分钟

Thank you.

谢谢

Yes, thank you.

是的 谢谢

Hi. I'm Stephanie Kaner.

你好 我是斯蒂芬妮·卡莱尔

And this is Javar.

这是加佛

We have an interview with Mr. Plympton.

我们和普林普顿先生约好有个面试

Wonderful. These two are first. You'll be next.

真好 这两位先来 你是下一个

Single white mother, black child.

单身白人母亲 黑人小孩

So what?

那又怎样

Lily's asian. We're gay.

莉莉是亚洲宝宝 我们是基佬

In the school admissions poker game,

在这场入学扑克赛中

we're the winning hand.

我们可是一手好牌

Oh, honey, sorry.

亲爱的 不好意思

My partner Kavita.

这是我的伴侣卡维塔

Hi. Nice to meet you.

你好 很高兴见到你

Hello. Nice to meet you.

你好 很高兴见到你

It will be just a few minutes.

再等几分钟

Disabled interracial lesbians with an african kicker.

跨种族的残疾拉拉带着一个非洲娃娃

Did not see that coming.

始料未及

It's been a while since I read an actual newspaper.

我已经有段时间没看纸质报纸了

Miss that sound.

真怀念那声音啊

- No, no, no, no! - What is it?

-不会吧 不会吧 -怎么啦

Brady's injured.

布拉德受伤了

No! He's my whole team.

别这样啊 他是整支队伍的灵魂人物

I have to change my roster.

看来我得修改队员名单了

Honey, if you can't do it over the phone,

亲爱的 如果你在电话上不能搞定的话

You can't do it, because we're not buying Haley a car.

这事你就搞不定了 我们可不会为海莉买车

Yeah.-Yeah.

也是噢-你明白就好

Yeah.

好吧

Well...

那么

Well, I'm just gonna go to the bathroom.

我还是去浴室待着好了

Phil Dunphy, don't you even dream of it.

菲尔·邓菲 你休想这样做

Claire, all my friends are in that league.

克莱尔 我所有的朋友都在那个联赛里

- I'm gonna like an idiot. - So what?

别人会以为我傻呢-那又怎么样

So I paid a huge entrance fee.

我可是支付了高额的入会费

- How huge? - Not huge. Tiny.

有多高额-也不是很高 一点点而已

Oh, my goodness. How is she not cracking up there?

我的天哪 什么事情把她乐成这样

Listen to her.

瞧她乐的

No, I know, but do you know?

不 我知道 不过你知道吗

Wait a minute. She's alone.

等等 她一个人待着呢

So?

然后呢

She's alone.

她一个人待着呢

Oh, my god.

娘亲噢

I know. You should see her pants.

我知道 你真该看看她的短裤

I'll text it to you.

我用彩信发给你好了

Oh, wait. Okay. Hold on. I'll send it.

好的 等等 别挂 我会发给你的

Ha! Aha! Aha! Busted!

噢耶 被逮着了吧

Sophie, I have to call you back.

索菲 我等会儿再打给你

I knew it. I knew you couldn't do it.

我就知道 我就知道你没法做到

I told you I'd outlast them.

我告诉你我肯定笑到最后

- This sucks! - What's going on?

真没劲-这是怎么了

I'll tell you what's going on.

我来告诉你这是怎么了

I win.

爷赢了

Nobody gets a car, I dump Tom Brady,

汽车泡汤了 我得把汤姆·布拉德抛售了

and our long amish nightmare is over.

长时间困扰我们的噩梦终结了

I can't believe you thought

我真的不敢相信

you were gonna put one over on us.

你居然以为能战胜我们

I can't believe

我也不敢相信

that he's actually already on the internet.

他居然已经在上网了

Believe it, girl.

认栽吧 孩子

- So, you're actually online right now? - Yep.

你现在真的在上网吗-是滴

Well, then I hate to break it to you, daddy,

很好 那我不得不很遗憾地告诉你 老爹

but you lose.

你输了

What?-What?

什么-什么

This isn't my phone.

这才不是我的手机呢

I carved it out of a bar of soap

是我用一块肥皂刻成的

and colored it in with a marker.

然后又用记号笔给它上色

Phil, she carved a telephone out of a bar of soap.

菲尔 她居然用一块肥皂刻了部手机出来

I can't believe it! I'm getting a car!

太激动鸟 我就要有车啦

Holy crap. We've been shawshanked.

真扯淡 我们居然被忽悠了一把

Sorry about the delay.

抱歉来晚了

I was going over the plans for our new dance studio.

因为新舞蹈室的规划一事耽误了

Wow.

真棒

So, tell me about yourselves.

那么 你们先自我介绍下吧

Uh, well, I'm a lawyer.

好的 我是一名律师

Many of our applicants are attorneys.

我们的申请人中有很多律师

Of course.

当然

What sets you apart?

你有什么出众的地方吗

Um, well, I --

我 我

While my white-man name is Tucker,

我的白人名字叫塔克

I am 1/16 Cherokee.

我有16分之一的彻罗基族血统

[北美原住民]

Ready for child to soar like eagle.

期望着孩子像雄鹰一般展翅高飞

Oh, god.

我的天哪

So, what are you saying?

你们是怎么个说法

You're not getting a car.

你得不到汽车

But I won.

但是我赢了啊

Yes, but we never thought you would.

是的 但是我们之前从未想过你居然会赢

So?

然后呢

So, congratulations on your victory.

然后 恭喜你的胜利

Nobody can ever take that away from you.

没人能夺走这份荣誉

So true. Mm-hmm.

言之有理

But I spent two days in my room

可是我在房间里

talking to a bar of soap.

对着块肥皂自言自语了两天啊

It's not fair.

这不公平

It's totally not fair.

一点都不公平

We're outraged.

我们也义愤填膺

Bad parenting.

我们不是好父母

But we had a deal.

可我们之前说好的啊

Which, in hindsight, was utter nonsense.

事后诸葛亮 事前猪一样

Hey.

你们好啊

We hated Billingsley.

我们讨厌比林斯利

The place is so stupid. Ugh!

那地方简直愚蠢至极

You blew the interview, didn't you?

面试泡汤的是吧

Lesbians.

杀出一对拉拉

In a wheelchair.

其中一个还坐轮椅

Oh.

不会吧

You still mad at me?

你还生我气呢

You tell me.

你说呢

What is this?

这是什么

I've been thinking if you said as much about America

我在想 我一直在诋毁哥伦比亚

as I said about Colombia, I'd be plenty ticked off.

如果你也像我那样诋毁美国 我早就气冒烟了

Doesn't make up for everything, but...

这弥补不了什么 只是

A trip to Colombia?

去哥伦比亚的旅行

I want to see your village, learn your culture.

我想看看你们的村庄 学习下你们的文化

I love you.

我爱你

I'm sure I'm gonna love where you come from.

毫无疑问无论你来自哪里我都爱你

Aw, Jay. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

杰 谢谢 谢谢 谢谢

No way he's going to my village.

他想去我的村庄 没门

I was in two car accidents when I was living there.

我住在那的时候出过两次车祸

Both times I hit a goat.

两次都是撞上了一只山羊

One was hurt pretty bad.

其中一次还伤得挺重

But it was a good thing I had a shovel in the trunk.

不过好在我后备箱里放着把铲子

The tribe builter fortold that

族长预言过

though I lay with fire-haired man,

虽然我会与金毛男结合

the giving hawk would bring us baby

送子雄鹰会给我们

with her skin the color of sweet corn,

玉米色肌肤的孩子

which my people call maize.

我们的族人称之为黄金之子

Please stop.

快别说了

Well, um...

好吧

Knowledge is her sustenance,

知识就是她的养料

like so much maize --

就像那么多的玉米

which, you'll remember, means "Corn."

玉米这个词你应该记得住吧

What if I was a single dad?

如果我是个单身父亲呢

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